A Methodology For Ranking MCs

A list of what should and should not be considered when ranking the greatest MCs of all time:

1. The MC Resume. How many albums has the MC released that the general hiphop community considers classics? How many times has the MC had the song of the moment, one that dominated culture from the clubs to the radio to your personal playlist? How many times has the MC dropped the unforgettable couplet that people repeated over and over, a couplet that shot into your mind like a dum-dum bullet, exploding within you as deeper levels of comprehension dawned upon you. How many years has he been a relevant MC? Has his music aged well? (Songs released on mixtapes are equally as valid as songs on commercially-released albums. Every time you step to the mic
counts.)

2. The MC Decathlon. An MC is primarily judged on what he does in four arenas: (a) songs; (b) stage performances; (c) freestyles--a word which now encompasses both the old school meaning (improvisational rhymes) and the new school meaning (written rhymes the audience hasn’t heard before); and (d) battles. Battle rhymes are of a special breed and though it’s possible to go an entire career without having beef, it’s unlikely and not recommended. MCs get big points for winning big battles. If there was an MC decathlon they’d have to (a) make a song, pick a beat, then write a hook and verses and deliver them dopely, (b) rock a crowd, (c) kick a hot rhyme off the top of the dome, and (d) battle somebody. A great MC must master all these arenas.

3. The MC Microscope. When we get out the MC microscope we look at voice (both literal and figurative), flow, lyrics, and the ability to pick beats. Does his voice alone transmit confidence to the listener? Is his voice original, compelling, powerful, seductive, tasty, or hypnotic? Has he innovated new facets of MCing? Can you dance to the bassline made by his
flow? In his lyrics does he coin original words or phrases, does he pick words we don’t normally hear in hiphop, does he make words rhyme that don’t really rhyme, does he have an interesting vocabulary, does he spit inventive metaphors, killer punchlines, clever slang, poetic word play, and double and triple entendres? Does he have original or interesting thoughts and stories to tell? Is he an interesting person, which does not mean has he been shot or has he shot someone, it means when he’s on the mic is he an interesting person to listen to? Does he have MC integrity, meaning, do you feel that he’s telling the truth about himself and his world, is he representing himself honestly, or is he just playing a role, i.e., perpetrating? Does he have a point of view? Does the sum total of his oeuvre paint a world?

4. The Trash. What doesn’t count? Sales are not a relevant variable. Sales do not matter. Also, being able to sing means nothing. MCs are only judged on rhyming. MCs also don’t get points for shooting someone, getting shot, doing a movie, doing time, doing commercials, dealing drugs, having been a Blood or a Crip, owning their label, or anything else off-mic, including doing a great video. The artifice of videoworld has nothing to do with being a great MC, however doing a great concert and being able to rock a stage will matter as long as MC still stands for Master of Ceremonies or Move the Crowd. (Postmodern kids will argue that a video is another sort of stage and it is, but really it’s a commercial and we don’t count commercials.)

Ergo, my top five (all of whom have at least two classic albums, multiple song-of-the-moments, and tons of unforgettable couplets): #1 Rakim, #2 Jay-Z, #3 Biggie, #4 KRS-One, #5 Nas.